


Family is Safest

by SophillaQuesadilla



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Child Abuse, F/M, JJ abused, JJ can’t communicate emotions, JJ gets hurt, JJ in the hospital, Kiara is the boss, Mutual Pining, Past Child Abuse, Pogues, Pogues for life, References to Drugs, drunk dad, i don’t make the rules, protect this bby, screw Luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:07:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23758123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophillaQuesadilla/pseuds/SophillaQuesadilla
Summary: (Set before any of season one, just vaguely sometime that summer.)JJ deals with it all on his own. Always jokes that he’s ok with his friends, doesn’t let the conversation stay on him for more than a couple seconds. But sometimes he can’t face him on his own, sometimes he needs his friends to patch him up, stitch him back together.... well not his friends.More like his family.Or: JJ gets abused by his dad and this time it’s a bit more than he can handle alone.
Relationships: JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 293





	1. I Remember Tears Streaming Down Your Face

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: mentions of child abuse, explicit scene of a fight between father and son. Mentions of drinking and alcohol. Blood and Abuse! 
> 
> After watching the show I was dying to read some fics about this cause !!! JJ nooo! I can’t, this baby deserves so much more and he doesn’t even see it!

JJ had only been home for about an hour, his first stop back there in two days. His father didn’t care, never really cared since he turned 10. Almost as if, if he disappeared, Luke would be better off without a “shitty son of a whore” for a kid anyway.

Carefully washing his bowl, JJ stood at the sink in the kitchen, packing a few necessities before he met up with the rest of the Pogues at John B’s. He was planning on staying a couple more nights at John B’s place if he would let him, so he had just grabbed a bite and a bag of extra clothes and toiletries. He had been trying to stay as far away from his father as possible without making him angrier. Over the past few months, Luke had been drowning himself in booze at all hours and as unhealthy as that was, it was unhealthier for JJ. Luke's temper was hotter than the sun and faster than flame and everybody knows what happens when you mix fire and alcohol.

Checking his phone, JJ caught sight of a text from Kiara saying that they were gonna come by and pick him up. His nerves buzzed a little at that, but his dad was out at the moment so it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. He worried over the phone's keyboard before typing out a quick Okay, followed by another text this time shot to John B telling him to pull the van around the road at the backside of the house. Better safe than sorry if his dad shows up. 

Now that he has a few minutes to kill waiting for his ride, he peaks around the kitchen. The sink is overflowing with dirty dishes and empty beer bottles, with more crowding on the counters, some still half empty. The trash was overflowing onto the floor and counters almost like Luke had stopped trying to get even near the bin. Without even checking JJ knew that the only thing shoved into the rusty, creaking fridge in the corner was a six-pack of Bud Light. 

Something on top of the fridge caught his eye though and he cracked a small smile, probably pulling at his healing lip from earlier that week. He couldn't care though as he reached up and dug out a small glass mug. It was one of those mugs that you could get custom pictures on and the only one in the house like it: printed on the ceramic was a beaming 6-year-old JJ holding the first fish he’d ever caught with the help of a beautiful, sunny woman. Her hair, like JJ’s, was sun-bleached blonde, with kind blue eyes crinkling into a warm laugh. Her arms were wrapped around the boy to help him hold out the flapping fish for the camera. The two looked beyond happy, something JJ could hardly remember since she had left. His mom. Couldn’t handle Luke and the Outer Banks and the Kooks and her life trapped in a wasteland waiting for a miracle to get her out of the Pogues. She had up and left with nothing more than a small suitcase, some cocaine, and a bruise from the first and only time Luke had hit her face. Leaving him with only a note with her love and a suddenly abusive father at age 8. 

He smiled down at the mug though. On his good days, he didn’t fault his mom. She had as little as he did and if he could have gotten out he would have left already as well. Turning it over in his hands he found grime from whatever sticky substance lined the top of the fridge - probably beer or syrup or something. He took it over to the sink and turned on the faucet, running the picture under grey water to rinse the gunk off. 

He must have missed the door opening over the sound of the running water. He barely noticed the reek of his father until Luke was already stumbling into the kitchen. JJ turned abruptly to meet his father’s glare when he noticed him come in but froze as if already pinned to the wall by a hand at his throat. Usually, they could fit in a bit of small talk and get out of each other's way. But usually, his father wasn’t already fuming, staring daggers into JJ's head. His mind raced to find what he could have possibly done wrong. Was it the truck? Cleaning up the house? No, he was never here anyway; that was usually not it. But I mean, Luke was pissed like it was a big deal.   
“Dad, I’ve just been staying at John B’s an - ”

Luke grumbled, slurring his words. “I don’ care where you been, you lil’ - ” 

That’s when he caught sight of the mug in JJ’s hand and his eyes darkened dangerously. “Whas’ that?” JJ stuttered, curling the cup to his chest in an attempt to hide or protect the keepsake. This seemed to be the wrong move as suddenly Luke grabbed a bat from a pile of random crap in the corner of the kitchen doorway (something JJ should have picked out when he first walked in as this was not the first time he would get acquainted with that particular bat) and roared at JJ. “You tryin’ ta hide it from me?! Ya thievin’ bastard!!” 

He brought the bat down hard on JJ’s arm twice with a sickening crack, making him cry out and drop the mug in hand. It hit the tile and shattered in a million directions, not even bouncing once, but before JJ could even react, Luke had shoved him to the ground and beat at him with the bat any place he could reach: a knee, a shin, a couple hits to the ribs, and almost to his head as it hid behind his arms. Luke punctuated each drunken hit with a raging insult, “Piece of shit son!”, “Fuckin’ whore!”, and any other cuss words he could get his tongue around. JJ’s shoulder was grinding into shards of glass as he wormed away from his father towards the back door. Towards an exit. Exit. Escape. Away, away, away! It was a mantra in his mind as he screamed and cried out. He scrambled backward, managing to get to his knees, crawling, scrambling to get to his feet till he finally bolted out the back. He made it halfway across the back yard (more of a junkyard, dirt and trash piles thinning out into trees) before his left knee gave out, buckling and dragging him to the dirt but he couldn’t stay down. He pushed himself up with a choked sob and wobbled his way to a run before he came to fall at the foot of a tree visible to the backroad he had texted John B about. 

The tree was an old tree-fort he and John B had made together as kids. Well, “tree” is a gracious descriptor. More like a hollowed-out trunk, any of the few lasting branches probably hanging dead. But the rotting trunk was wide enough for two kids to sit cross-legged and play pirates, or astronauts. It still had a dusty blanket and throw pillow from the times JJ would come out to get away from his dad’s drinking. 

JJ huddled inside to catch his breath and it took him a moment to realize he was sobbing, his whole body shaking as his left arm hung in his lap in a dull pain, immovable. He tried to slow his breathing, assess his injuries. He was used to Luke getting the bat out now and then but not while he was so drunk. It had never gotten that bad before, Luke had always had a reason, he liked to remind JJ of it every second of a beating but… none of that had happened. There was no warning this time…

He attempted to shift deeper into his hiding spot, whimpering as he did, trying to reach to his right shoulder with his crooked left arm. His hand came away with blood and he could feel it now soaking the arm of his shirt. That’s when it hit him: the shattered pieces of mug digging into his skin, the image of his mother beaming up at him from a shard that hovered inches from his nose, petrifying him, pinning him to the ground with the love in her eyes. He didn’t look away from her once even as he scrambled away from his father until a hard boot came crashing down on the piece and then she was gone, her smile torn to fragments under his tormentor’s heel. 

His heart wanted him to scream, to cry out in agony but his body suddenly stilled and his mind numbed until the only sign he was still alive was the steady stream of silent tears pouring from heartbroken eyes. He heard his phone ring - Pope’s ringtone - but he couldn’t move to answer. The second call made his ears burn but he was glued there, closed his eyes and his world just seemed to stop. 

“Uh, yeah he’s not picking up.” Pope shrugged from the back of the van where he and Kiara sat. John B sighed but kept his foot on the gas. They were not even two minutes out, turning down another wooded neighborhood street just as dirt- road-dusty as the last.   
“Well, we’ll be there in a second so I guess it doesn’t matter.” 

“Hope he’s okay,” Kiara muttered, more to herself than anyone but the boys just shook their heads. She was watching the unchanging screen of her phone, waiting for whatever dumb text they were sure to be getting from JJ any second.

“It’s JJ. He probably turned his phone off like always. No matter how much you nag him about it Kei, old habits die hard, especially with JJ.” John B chucked from behind the wheel, making the final turn towards the backyard. “Here we go.” 

They hopped out slowly expecting to see a chipper (if not high) JJ on his way ready to jump in the van but...nada. They glanced at each other: Kei being nervous for JJ, Pope more nervous about getting jumped by JJ, and John B being only slightly suspicious of the latter. They walked in the direction of the house, pausing as Kiara called his name. When they didn’t hear anything they trudged towards the house.

“JJ I swear if you jump me I will punch you in the nose!” Pope called, grumbling. Kiara rolled her eyes while Jonh B laughed softly muttering something like “sounds about right” under his breath. It took a minute to wade through the brush but they finally stepped out onto the dirt of the lawn cautiously. 

“Hey JJ, ya here man?” John B called, but the house was starting to seem eerily quiet. They paced up to the back porch and peeked into the kitchen through the gaping door. Now, a wide-open door wasn’t entirely uncommon on this side of the Banks. It gets hot come summer and AC is somewhat of a luxury for Pogues. Still, it was a little unsettling.

“Uh, JJ…” Pope called this time quietly. That’s when John B saw the broken mug. His eyes widened as he took in the shattered pieces running across the floor, then zeroed in on the smear of red that was spat across the tiles among the shards. It was blood. John B stood ridged for a split second before sprinting out the door. The others stuttered to ask what happened? What’s wrong? But they followed close behind him as he ran back towards the van. No, not the van. A large rotting tree trunk a bit to the right with a small triangle flag pinned near the top, flapping red like an ambulance light. John B ripped around the tree to face an opening and when they caught up to him they gasped, Kei’s hand snapping to cover her gaping mouth. 

There, huddled in on himself was JJ, bleeding out of his right shoulder, his left arm swollen at the elbow and somehow unnaturally positioned. His legs and arms were covered with bruises and nicks, a particularly nasty one blooming at his left knee. He barely looked like he was breathing until he lifted his head, achingly slow, trembling, and his usually bright blue eyes broke the teary surface. 

“...g-guys…” JJ whimpered softly before his eyes rolled back and he slumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed! I know it’s a relatively new fandom so I hope this is a good start to a larger fandom in the future! 
> 
> I’m thinking about a SECOND CHAPTER, so let me know what ya think!
> 
> Leave a Kudos and call me out on my crap if I have grammar issues or otherwise! Also please let me know if they way this is portrayed is offensive or inaccurate, abuse is serious and I keep praying for kids right now stuck in potentially unsafe environments because of quarantine! Stay safe! Love y’all!


	2. You'll Be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s no good solution to his problem, JJ knows, but the rest of the Pouges aren’t gonna see it like that. He’ll be fine though, just like always, he’s been dealing with it since he was a kid. JJ was practically born from a “shit in the slums” recipe anyway. It’s life to him, a life he deserves. 
> 
> Or: The Pouges find JJ and rush him to the hospital!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok y’all asked for it! And also for some JJxKiara which I am so down for so here goes! If I don’t get this done today it’ll never get done so if this is out, hooray! We did it!

“Pope help me get him to the van! Kiara… call the hospital.” John B added reluctantly. He knew JJ was not a fan of hospitals and he knew there would be uncomfortable questions but there wasn’t another option.

He crouched down at JJ’s left side and brought his hand to his cheek, trying to gently wake him. JJ’s eyelashes fluttered but didn’t move after that. Pope moved on the other side attempting to sling JJ’s arm over his shoulder but John B stopped him as JJ whimpered subconsciously.   
“His shoulder is bleeding and I have a feeling there’s glass in it. I don’t think we can walk him to the van; his other arm looks even worse… we’ll have to carry him. Put your arms… here…and here...” John B threaded one arm behind JJ’s back and another under his legs, careful to nudge his crooked left arm to JJ’s chest so that it wouldn’t twist anymore or get in the way. Pope followed his lead and together they hoisted the boy up carefully, sidestepping their way to the car. Even though JJ was as tall as John B, bigger than Pope, he felt worryingly small in their arms as they carried him.

While the boys were figuring out how to move JJ, Kiara called the hospital, holding in a quiet sob when the call was finally picked up. “Hello, I-I‘ve - we have a boy who’s.. p-pretty badly hurt, we're diving him to St. Olive’s .... we-we shouldn’t be more than fifteen minutes…okay...alright… I-” The end of the conversation was more of a whimper on her end. Kiara cursed her voice for shaking. She’s never felt like such a cry baby. She’s never like this, but seeing JJ… she had felt like her soul was ripping when he looked up at them; when he looked up at /her/. 

Right as she finished answering to the nurse at the other end of the line, the boys had JJ hammocked between them. She ran to hold JJ’s lolling head, supporting him as much as he grounded her, whispering comforts into the boy's ear softly, brushing her thumb along his even more busted lip, the gash falling to the underside of his chin now. She felt stupid. He had done his best to shelter her, and them, from his father’s abuses, not fully denying accusations but laughing it off, making jokes and masking his true feelings. His true pain. They had all known to some degree but for the most part that was life on this side of the Banks. Most homes were rocky, money tight, works depleting, Kooks robbing every opportunity out from underneath. Kiara has been with the boys long enough to know that, but there were some things she still couldn’t wrap her head around. How does something like this happen? How could a father do this to his kid?! How could she have been so blind?

The last question hit her like a ton of bricks. They laid JJ gently on the floor of the van and Pope joined John B in the front, working on the fastest way to St. Olive’s. Climbing in, she held JJ’s head in her lap and stared down at him brokenly. She should have done something - she could have done something! Her house was Kook: she could have offered a bed - at the very least her couch and a warm meal, anything to keep him away from Luke. The name tasted bitter even in her mind. If JJ hadn't protested so profusely she would have already gone to the police, gotten that man locked away for good. But she knew now how that went. They couldn’t have John B and JJ trying to evade DCS. 

Dampness at her knee pulled her away from regretful thoughts, and she looked down at JJs shoulder. His tee was damp with blood. It wasn’t bleeding profusely, looked to be more surface than anything, but it scared her brainless all the same. “Guys please tell me we’re close!” 

“It’s just the next left Kei, he’s gonna be fine...Don’t panic.” Pope had turned over the middle console and hovered his hand over a light nick in JJ’s shin, his forehead worried with wrinkles. JJ’s eyelids fluttered and he mumbled whimpers. Kei shushed him gently, even as he flinched away from her hand at his cheek, even as he melted back into her touch, followed it with childlike fear of the monster under the bed. The monster behind his eyes. 

“He’s gonna be fine…” Pope repeated under his breath, almost a prayer, it was so soft. “He’s gonna be fine…” John B hadn’t stopped glancing over his shoulder at JJ every three seconds - back and forth, still trying to drive as fast as legally possible. Kiara was worried he was gonna get whiplash if this continued any longer.

“Here!” He pulled up onto the curb of the hospital and a couple of nurses had already run out a gurney for them, pulling it alongside the van door and helping Kiara move JJ carefully into the bed. They followed him and the nurses into the hospital but the desk nurse waved them back once the bed was running through a set of double doors down the hall. Kiara’s hand was softly slid out of JJ’s as he was rushed away from them. 

Time seemed to stop rather than even pass at a snail's pace. She barely remembers Pope leading her by the shoulder to sit in a waiting room chair across from where John B was sat. Well, if you could count whatever John B was doing as sitting. He was bouncing: knees, hands, fingers. His head snapping from doors to floor. Then he would stand and pace towards the double doors only to come back to his seat again. He was tugging at his bandanna, twirling it, then running his hands through his hair. He managed this cycle three times (bounce, stand, pace, sit, bandanna) before Pope sat next to him and managed to put a gentle hand to his shoulder to ground him. “Hey… hey, he’s gonna be fine man, okay? It was just a few scrapes, a broken arm maybe but he’s tough as nails and you know it, okay? ……hh...heh… I mean, you remember when he tripped down that pile a’ trash in Dillman’s Junkyard?... Like full on rolled down a small mountain of who knows what? Boat engines and saw blades?... And you remember what he did? Hmm?”   
John B cracked a sad smile and huffed quietly. He remembered. “He hunched there like a dead man before jumping up...with a blunt raised high! You woulda thought he had found a diamond with all his yelling about it!... Scared the shit out of us that’s for sure... but he didn’t care, not even about his busted lip. Cause he. had found. weed.” John B counted out the last words in straight-faced monotone with a pointer finger, lazily jabbing at Pope at each word. He cracked a smile and the three off them huffed out small laughs, smiling at each other. 

“And you know what he’ll most likely ask for as soon as we get in there?” Pope cheekily inquired. 

“Weed.” The three of them stated in unison. And the haze of fear and pain and worried started to lift, their laughter warding it off. They were still achingly aware that JJ was doors away in pain but they comforted each other's worries, continuing to reminisce about all the stupid stuff JJ had gotten into, gotten them into. Kiara learned of the time when JJ walked straight into a pole because he was so focused on teaching a younger Pogue how to flirt with the girl walking across the street - Sarah Cameron of all people! They also remembered him slipping right off the boat and into the water the first time Kei had taken her shirt off revealing her bikini. He had sworn the two were unrelated but had no one convinced with the way he was pink-cheeked and avoiding Kiara’s eyes! Their laughter almost made them relax and -

“Hey y’all, you here with JJ? Why don’t you come ahead, and see him now, he’ll be awake any second.” A kind, tired-looking nurse waved them through the doors and pointed them towards JJ’s room. “Right through there, honeys.” 

Glancing at each other they stopped short. Collectively they seemed to all take a breath…And stepped through into a bright white room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so sorry for the kinda filler chapter but hope y’all still like. I only imagined the first bit of the fist chapter so this is gonna be a little harder from here on out but I do plan on a THIRD CHAPTER so fingers crossed I still have good enough ideas to make this run! Wish me luck!


	3. Don’t Leave Me Here Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She was filled with concern and worry and… something else. It broke her heart to see JJ so vulnerable, so in pain. He looked so desperate to find something in her eyes, but he instead winced, almost like her gaze had stung him. “Kei please, don’t… don't look - ” he broke their stare to instead let his eyes roam distractedly over the hospital bed. “Don’t play the pity card. ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story makes me giddy! Please, please, please tell me your thoughts on JJxKiara! I don’t want it to feel forced or out of the blue, I want it to flow just like it would in the show!

The room smelled of cleaner and sea salt, the small window on the wall cracked open to let in the evening breeze. The setting sun lay a golden glow across the boy lying peacefully on the bed. His left arm lay tucked against his bare chest, wrapped in a dark blue cast. Bandages roped securely around his right shoulder and bicep, leaving everything down to his lower abs open to the breeze. A butterfly bandage clipped together the gash running from his lip to under his chin. Bruises large and small and of all colors littered his ribs and stomach. Where there wasn’t a bruise there was a nick or gash, many favoring his right side, circling the bandages there. What was most startling, yet most subtle, were the open spots not covered by a fresh wound. They were instead pecked with old scars, and freckles, all faint enough to be hidden aside from a gash dragging from his side and seemingly all along his hip bone. They all know about that one. John B was the only one to know it’s true origin, the real story unhindered by jokes and emotional masking. 

To say JJ looked like shit was an understatement at best. 

The Pogues all slowly took him in as they came around him: John B on his left, Kei to his right and Pope at the foot of the bed, glancing at JJ’s medical chart every once in a while. John B raised his hand to playfully muse JJ’s bed head to wake him but he hesitated. Instead he called JJ softly rocking the gurney ever so slightly trying his best not to scare his best friend. On his second call JJ’s eyes shot open, head whipping around before stiffening, groaning slightly in pain. John B shushed him gently, as Kiara finally whispered her own reassurances, reaching her hand out to comb through JJ’s hair, making sure he could track her hand the whole time. 

Eventually JJ’s breathing evened out and he took in the room and it’s occupants. Slowly a small smile breached his lips “Hey guys.” His voice was raspy, from disuse or crying they couldn’t tell. He could feel every bone in his body aching but he shimmied up the bed as best he could, Pope passing the extra pillow up to John B who propped it behind JJ. 

The others were looking at him with concern and maybe pity? and he began to feel slightly panicked and cornered. Without realizing it, he used a built in JJ defense mechanism, a smirk coming up his lips. 

“Did you bring the weed?” His cheeky look broke the worry off their faces. 

“What did I tell you! I knew it!” Pope laughed, the others joining him exasperatedly. “You’re absolutely ridiculous, you know that?” Kiara lightly shoved JJ’s forearm. He laughed at them before wincing from the pain in his ribs and the room sobered again. Kiara’s hand fluttered protectively over JJ’s chest. She sighed, muttering under her breath, “What happened, JJ?”

He was looking at her, almost as if he couldn’t believe she was caring about him. Like he didn’t deserve her kindness. His eyes softened, and he shifted his right arm so he could brush his fingertips along her outstretched arm, comforting her almost subconsciously. Then he looked away, glancing down before meeting John B’s eyes with a determined stare. “I was in the warehouse putting some glass pieces up in the loft when I fell off the ladder. The glass must have come down too… this - ” he waved at his bruised ribs “...probably came from the beams I fell on, yeah?” He was speaking to John B as if they were creating a master plan or something. John B looked sad but he nodded his head.

“What - I-I don’t…” Kiara looked at JJ then Pope before John B caught her eye. 

“We need a cover, Kiara. If we’re not all on the same page they’ll start asking questions we can’t answer, then….” John B trailed off softly glancing at JJ the back to Kiara to make sure she understood. The room was sad but the boys all looked determined and so Kiara put her best face on and said a small okay.

“Thank you, Kei.” JJ squeezed her hand on his chest softly. 

There was a knock on the door before the nurse strolled in to check on them. “How is our patient doing, hmm? Ah good you’re awake! We’re just going to do a last check here, ask some questions, change your bandages, get you some mild pain killers and then you can hit the road, yeah, how’s that sound?” She came to the bed to grab JJ’s chart and take Kiara’s place so she could change the bandages on his shoulder. “This is a nasty little rumble, huh? What did ya do, jump in a bottle recycler?” 

“Heh, something like that.” JJ laughed off, trying not to wince as she wrapped clean bandages around his arm. As she worked she walked through what he would need to be doing for his shoulder, what meds he’d be taking, and what activities he should stay away from with a broken arm (though it seemed like she knew he was gonna be getting into a ton of stupid shit the minute he left the clinic.)

After she was done she asked if she could talk to them out in the hall for a minute. They all glanced at each other before John B said, “I got this guys, why don’t y’all stay.” He trailed the nurse before Pope followed him out. “I’ll come with, the more the merrier right?”

As the door closed JJ stalked it with his eyes nervously, his breathing becoming slightly shallow. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright, ok? John B knows what he’s doing. Like he said, we're all on the same page.” Kiara ran a hand through JJ’s hair trying to calm him. He looked at her with broken eyes and clenched jaw, biting the inside of his lip as his breathing settled. 

“Yeah…” he sighed out, “yeah, it’ll be fine…” He traced a pattern on the sheets slowly, watching the wrinkle of the fabric under his finger. “Too bad we missed a whole day of fishing though.” 

“Nah, the fish’ll all still be there tomorrow.” Kiara let him change the subject. “Besides, Pope was saying there weren’t many good spots open today cause of the dry weather. Tomorrow morning will be much better.” He nodded still focused on his finger. Kiara had pulled the chair from the corner up against the bed, sitting in it cross legged so she could lay her head on the bed, looking up at him. She gently tugged at the finger worrying the sheets till it stilled under her hand. “JJ…”

He wouldn’t look at her, only continued to tug at the inside of his lip, like he was wiling his chin not to wobble. “I …” he finally met her gaze, eyes dragging up her face. She was filled with concern and worry and… something else. It broke her heart to see JJ so vulnerable, so in pain. He looked so desperate to find something in her eyes, but he instead winced, almost like her gaze had stung him. “Kei please, don’t… don't look - ” he broke their stare to instead let his eyes roam distractedly over the bed. “Don’t play the pitty card. It’s enough to get it from all the adults who could actually care less, but I - can’t take it, not from you.” Again he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Oh JJ…” she whispered, “I don’t, I’m not… I’m worried, scared for you even but …… you are the strongest person I know, JJ. Ridiculous, even stupid sometimes but,” she cracked a smile, trying to get him to look at her again, “JJ I have always - ” Loved you. She loved him. She haden’t even realized that that was what it was but it was sweet and daunting. It was a patient love, one that she hadn’t needed to act on, her natural compassion taking over up until this point. Up until she felt her survival depended on it. Her love for him just naturally clicked into place, like the focus on a camera picking out something that had always been there, making it the center of her attention. When he finally looked her in the eye it must have clicked for him too because that broken desperation was back and her throat seized, making it impossible to speak even if she wanted too. 

His face suddenly snapped back towards the ceiling with a low, bitter laugh. “No… no that’s worse.” It stung. His words ran down her hand on his and through her chest, squeezing her heart. What does he mean “worse”? Does he really hate her that much? She wanted to respond, to ask him why but he throat was still unresponsive. His eyes fluttered to hers, gauging her reaction before grimacing away again. “Kei, I… I’m not who you’ll want. I won’t be - I can’t…” he was quiet as he slowly pulled his hand away from hers. 

“I don’t deserve you, Kei.” 

He said it so quietly she almost missed it under the soft flap of the curtain by the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry had to do it to em!! But don’t worry I want a 4th chapter as much as you. Fingers crossed I pull out all the stops even though Idek what love is~<3


	4. The Sun Is Going Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Floating through the mind of Kiara, the feelings of JJ, and John B’s brotherly love for his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait and sorry for the extreme fluff chapter!! I just couldn’t rush through the end of the day without adding in some bro fluff between JJ and JB! But I have plans for chapter five it might just take me a second to get my thoughts in order.

Kie had been fighting for rights, equality, awareness, the environment - all of it - ever since she could read and research what was really going on in the world. It was something she was deeply passionate about, something you could catch her discussing at every party and every kegger. You could catch her rambling on about turtles and plastic, but also the socio-economic shortcomings of the island, the LGBTQ+ community, the patriarchal capitalist bullshit that subliminally ran the country. It was something that became so fundamentally Kiara that JJ could stand behind her and mouth word for word whatever spiel she was giving at a bonfire. ‘The earth deserves a chance! At survival, at life, at love, just like every human being living on it!’

But if JJ could mime her actions down to the letter, how could he believe she’d think so low of him.

Hearing the utter conviction in his voice, knowing that he soberly believed he didn’t deserve even a chance… it was crushing. Angering. He believed he was below love. It was something that was so out of reach to him. His parents had never given it to him, not since he was young. The brotherly love he felt from Pope and JB was still shocking to him every now and then. He was lucky that John B wouldn’t let him escape. It was like his superpower: when John B loved you, that was that: you were stuck with him till the end. JJ reveled in it. But he sometimes felt guilty. He shouldn’t like it so much. He didn’t deserve that much thought and care. His dad had made sure he knew that since day one, since his mom had left. He felt selfish for it, but he couldn’t help the high he got by just being cared for by his brothers, by his family. 

But to be in love, to fall in love - that was impossible, just too far out of reach. Sure he’d had his short term girls and one time flings but they were never in love. He settled for that though cause that’s what he could reach, that’s what he deserved. Anything better was out of the picture. 

Kiara’s heart was shattering into a million pieces. Her throat wanted to choke out a sob. Her hands wanted to hold together the boy in front of her, to put the shards back into place and seal them with a kiss. She wanted to do anything to stop his pain, to scream at him about how wrong it all was, to hold him in silent tears, to heal all the things his dad had destroyed with an embrace. 

But she was frozen. 

All she could do was whimper a soft ‘Oh JJ!’ before the nurse came back in with Pope and John B. The vulnerability that had radiated off JJ swiftly morphed into a determined look to Kie that simply, softly said ‘no’.

And with that the nurse moved smoothly through the room, informing JJ again on the meds and steps he needed to go through, before getting him his old shirt and finally letting her patient go. She let the others help him out of bed and guide him down the hall, handing the meds to Kiara and wishing them well. At the front desk, Kie covered the bill without discussion, waving off their apologetic looks. JJ attempted to walk on his own, looking more like his bravado self. John B let him give it a go but right before he stumbled, JB just slid an arm around JJ’s side and silently escorted him to the van, the others right behind them.

They all stayed late at John B’s that night but eventually, Pope and Kiara had to show up at home. The spontaneity of a sleepover combined with radio silence all day had made Kiara’s parents a little tense and Heyward was adamant that Pope got some sleep so he could study a bit in the morning. The atmosphere before they had left had become more relaxed as JJ had acted a bit more like his crazy self even if he still looked like shit. They had played a round of cards while passing around the few beers left in the back of JB’s fridge. It was domestic and chill, a welcomed juxtaposition to the day they had all had. 

Kiara has still felt tension though. Not within the group, within herself. She couldn’t get JJ’s broken eyes out of her head or the resignation in his voice. It was seared into the forefront of her brain. 

But anytime she tried to look at him with a question in her eye he looked away, playing it off like he was busy with the beer, or too focused on his cards. By the time she left, she was simply frustrated, thanking John B, giving JJ a terse goodbye and letting the porch door slam behind her. 

“What was...that?” John B gave JJ a quizzical look. Pope had left just before Kiara in a slight rush after receiving a not so pleasant text from his dad, grumpy as his usual Heyward-self. It was just the two of them. JJ shrugged but stared at the spot Kie had just left from. John B simply sighed. He sometimes wished JJ was more vocal about his true feelings with him and the crew but if he was honest, JB had never really needed vocal confirmation from his friend. He knew something was going on between Kie and JJ, some upheaval of uncertainty probably adding to JJ’s self-loathing. He knew all this just how he knew tonight was not the night to try and breach the subject. JJ had gone through enough emotional turmoil for the time being and really needed some rest in a warm bed. Looking at him, JJ looked dead on his feet and he wasn’t even standing; he slumped back in his chair and lazily clutched a beer. 

“Come on man, pull out is all yours. You look like you’re gonna fall on your face while sitting.” John B lent him a hand and let JJ slump onto the bed, curling in on himself on the covers, before cleaning up the cards and beer. As soon as he finished tossing the bottles out, he came back and nudged JJ.

“Not quite there yet, bud. Can’t sleep with your shoes on… I’m gonna help you get your shoes off, that ok?” JJ nodded, sitting up so that JB could gently pry his boots from his feet. After his shoes, JJ sleepily unbuttoned his shirt. Well, technically it was John B’s shirt he had borrowed a while back. He was lucky he had decided to grab the button up that morning cause it would have been a hassle to get on and off his usual tee with his broken arm. 

John B ignored the colorful pattern on his friend's torso as he pulled the covers back, JJ curling again inside them. 

“Thanks, bro…” JJ mumbled sleepily, already half asleep as John B chucked a soft ’No problem’. 

He watched his best friend drift into a deeper sleep as he leaned on the hallway door frame, his arms comfortably crossed, the weight of the day finally hitting him in waves. Tomorrow was gonna be hard. It always was. But it couldn’t be worse than today. Plus there was Kie and Pope this time. 

Pope had known for the most part what had been going on, but the reality of it had hit him today seeing JJ in the hospital bed. And Kiara, well, John B was sure this was a bit of a culture shock for her, but she was tough and loved all her boys… 

John B shook his head and sighed, finally crossing the hall to his room. Yeah, tomorrow was gonna be really hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked, again sorry for the fluffy filler chapter.   
> Tell me about your fav parts! I'd love to hear what you think! Encouragement is also welcomed!   
> Chapter five is sitting up in my noggin, just have to get it on the page!


	5. Hold Onto This When The Music’s Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some fluff from the morning after that horrible day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SO sorry it took me this long to get this chapter out and I’m also sorry that’s it’s still SUCH a cliff hanger😬 I have not been doing great and it’s been hard to get any sort of work done even when I enjoy it like this, but I’m deep into chapter six so hopefully that will be out soon!

“Am I in heaven…. or did someone smoke a blunt made of waffle houses in here?” A muffled voice sounded from the living room. Said muffled voice came from JJ who had half his face smushed into his pillow, still with his eyes closed and voice rough with sleep. 

Pope popped out from behind the open fridge and chuckled. ”Morning, dumbass. Nobody was awake when I got here so I thought I’d make some breakfast. It’s past noon you guys!” That last bit he whispered to himself, half in amusement, half in exasperation. Pope had finished his required studying by ten that morning and had time to run an errand for his dad before he arrived at the still sleeping Château. Gauging by the silence of the house, he determined the boys were still out cold and it would be better to slowly wake them through their hunger than by the nudge-and-shake tactic. After digging around in the kitchen for a bit, he had been able to scrape together some pancakes. Now, “scrape together” makes it sound like these pancakes were barely passable. But Pope’s pancakes were finer than any diner's or fancy restaurants'. Always. No matter where he managed to scrounge up the ingredients from. It had completely shocked the boys the first, even second or third time they ate them because Pope could not cook anything else correctly to save his life.

There was a soft grunt followed by a small struggle that sounded from the bed before a half-dead looking JJ dragged himself into the kitchen. He wordlessly took the plate Pope handed him before flopping onto a chair. He set his plate on the small table as Pope handed him the syrup. After his first few bites, he finally started to look more awake. “MMMMMMHHH, brooo… how are these /this good/ every time, when everything else you make tastes like a dumpster fire?”

Pope swatted at JJ with his hat as he came around the table to sit next to him, setting down his own plate of food. “You already know this.” Hey rolled his eyes, taking a bite, muffling his next words. “It’s Grandma D’s recipe. She’d murder me form her grave if I managed to butcher it!”

John B suddenly spun sleepily from around the corner and stared wide-eyed at them. Well, it looked like his body wanted “wide-eyed”, but his lids slumped halfway down his eyes in sleep. When he finally saw the pancakes he might have just drooled. “Ohhohoho yeah! Pope made pancakes! I knew I smelled something good!” His voice cracked and grumbled as he spoke for the first time that morning and he stumbled into the kitchen, grabbing a plate before shoving ten pancakes onto it. JJ was wheezing, his tired brain thinking this was the funniest thing to happen ever, whilst Pope just sighed out a chuckle. “Yeah no problem, just don’t choke JB, jeez that’s a lot!” They laughed at him as he plopped into his chair across from Pope, and their morning conversation flowed out easily.

Right as they had all finished breakfast and JJ and JB had sufficiently woken up, they cleaned up the house a bit. It was a small domestic ritual that always seemed to happen after a breakfast together, one they never minded for the sake of the Château. It was practically their home and the Pogues tried to help John B keep it clean whenever they could. It was never something mandatory, rather something they all subconsciously participated in together;   
For Pope it was a way to help out John B but it also solidified their group as a family and as annoyed as he got by them sometimes, Kiara, John B, and JJ were always there for him and he loved them for it.   
For JJ the help around the house was originally rooted in his guilt at taking up a lot of John B’s space and time and limited money. But as JB coaxed him out of that thought process, he found it resembled a somewhat normal family activity, cleaning up a living space together. And no matter how cheesy or domestic it felt, he had never had that in his own home. It was always him alone, left to sweep away the beers or the trash or the blood. Doing it here, at the Château, was different. He was with friends. It was enjoyable, and frankly, it was voluntary.   
And for John B, well he hardly noticed it. He really only noticed the mess itself when the others started cleaning it up together for him. At first, he had told them it was ok, they didn’t need to help, they didn’t owe him anything. But sooner or later he stopped telling them to stop. It was then that he realized how much it meant to them, Kiara too, to do this small thing for his house, for their house. For their family. 

JB, from his spot washing plates at the sink, watched as Pope and JJ hacky-sacked bits of trash back and forth and into the trash can, laughing and cheering loudly at each other, their flow of banter still never ceasing. It was an odd sight: Pope hopping on one foot, hooting as JJ threw bits of leftover pancake at him with his good arm. Pope finally got revenge in the shape of a crumpled paper plate, using it as his own ammo against his attacker, only for JJ to deflect it with his casted wrist. They both paused in awe for a second as they watched the plate rebound off the cast, then the table, then land inside the trash can, before erupting into whoops and cheers. When the hype finally settled they could hear JJ’s breathing, a little ragged caused by the pain in his ribs, but he was beaming like a dog at the dog park. 

The humming of a vehicle rolled nearer from outside and the boys all made their way to the front porch to see who it was. A sunny looking Kiara strolled up to the house with a wave. “Morning boys! Do anything stupid without me?”

“Actually these two just woke up.” Pope supplied as he poked JJ in the nose, who swatted the assaulting finger away. 

“Not ‘just’! Maybe like an hour ago but - Pope made pancakes!” JJ retorted distractedly with his usual squirrel-like energy. Kiara looked delighted about the pancake information for a second before she shook her head and leveled the boys with a cheeky yet excited smile.

“Pancakes can wait, I have a surprise!” The boys were immediately intrigued, especially since the pancakes had never “waited” before, and a round of ‘What? What!’ came from them all like they were excited puppies.

Kiara laughed at them before settling down on the edge of the porch chair in the corner. “Ok, so after a ton of begging and bribing cause my dad kinda hates yall,” Pope slapped JJ for his ‘yeah and I don’t see why’ comment, (mostly because he had interrupted, not that it wasn’t valid) and Kie rolled her eyes continuing with a jittery smile. “I got him to buy us all passes to the Midsummers Surfing Competition! And we’re all allowed to compete in the secondary competition!”

“No way, are you kidding?! You got us into Midsummers?” The boys all whooped and hollered, their excited chatter overlapping one another as they blubbered about how they were all going to beat the Kooks in the secondary comp. 

“I'm so going to crush Topper’s ass. He can barely ride his Fishboard! His Shortboard skills are shit!” JJ was laughing now, riled up enough to be throwing his arms around animatedly.

“Dude, Topper probably has a rich-ass Kook pass for the primary competition, there's no way he’d willingly be in the secondary.” John B pointed out to his friend. It was most definitely true. Kooks could get anywhere on the island with a judgmental smirk and a wave of their checkbooks. This was a full Kook event, so it was rare anyone from the Cut could come and watch close up unless they were serving at the event. But this was their chance to shred the waves and get some passably legal revenge on the Kooks.

“Nah, don’t worry. He’ll join the secondary, as well as the primary! All it takes is a little JJ Maybank convincing and he’ll get riled up enough to try us for sure! Plus him, Rafe, and Kelse will be pissed that we’re even allowed there in the first place!” And with that promise, they had no doubt JJ already had a plan to brag and annoy the Kooks to no end until the event. “Hey, you know what we should do? We should have a kegger! You know to celebrate and stuff!” JJ’s enthusiastic suggestion was met by a shrug by JB and a concerned look from Kiara. He was still breathing a bit heavy and she knew as soon as any of his adrenaline wore off he would be feeling his earlier animations in his shoulder and ribs. “Whaaat Kiiee? I’ll be fine, I could use the booze and the distraction. Come on and - Hey, I still have that keg in the shed that we never used from that party at Rixon’s Cove!” He sat up quickly from the couch, a limp in his step as he made his way to the door, before he paused, leaning on the door frame to give them a smirk, as if to say ‘Are you coming or what?’  
John B was smiling, Pope was laughing, shaking his head, and Kiara just sighed before she smirked back. “Fine,” she said, “let’s get this party started!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all you’re support has been awesome! Sorry again for the wait, but I promise I’m not going anywhere, I will finish this story!
> 
> On a side note, I had a lovely Jiara one shot idea that will be rattling in my brain for the next while, so let me know if y’all are interested and I’ll see what I can do😏😘


	6. Darling Everything’s On Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok oof so so sorry this took so long but as promised it’s here!

A salty spray from the tide blew in the soft nighttime breeze, a quiet whisper against the background of booming bass and the hubbub of an alcohol-infused party. The beach was scattered with kids from all over the Cut. There were only a few Kooks who showed up cause it was a Friday and even in the summer Fridays were Kook party days. It was nice though because it meant the Pogues got the Bone Yard all to themselves. Surprisingly, a decent-sized group of Tourons had made it, even with the mild short notice on their announcement that there was even gonna be a party. Small island; word travel fast. The Tourons must have been from a cheerleading camp or something too cause it was almost all girls, flocking to the boys and alcohol as if their lives depended on it. 

The Pogues were each having a blast: Kiara was dancing blissfully around a bonfire, stealing the show as always as she reached for random souls to join her, enthralled by her jubilee. Her colorful cover-up floating around her as she spun. Under the nearest tree, lit up by a mirage of twinkle lights, John B was playing beer pong with a couple of dudes, laughing and fake wrestling with each other after each throw. Pope was beside the keg pump, helping friends with drinks as he hopelessly tried to flirt with a girl - she was nice looking and very sweet, but Pope was always a lost cause in that arena. That had always been JJ’s specialty. And as if to prove that point, JJ had managed to snag the attention of three of the hotter cheerleaders, who fawned over his cast, and a probably fake sob story. He was flirting shamelessly, to the point where he could have robbed them blind and they wouldn’t have been the wiser. And if JJ got any drunker it might just happen that his klepto tendencies took a girl’s 10 bucks. He never meant too when he was drunk but some survival instincts were just harder to suppress when the alcohol took away all common sense. 

Luckily he was not getting that drunk tonight. He had seen Kiara watching him carefully all night and it somehow was making him more self-conscious about how much booze he inhaled. He felt like he wasn’t allowed to get wasted like he had wanted, even though she hadn’t told him not to. Actually, the only thing that she had told not to do was, “JJ, I swear if you jump off that branch and hurt yourself more, I will shave your head and donate your hair!” after which he almost fell off from laughing so hard. 

In JJ’s buzzed brain though, Kiara was the reason he wasn’t allowed to get hammered so he was going to be a grumpy puppy about it. Well, flirting more than usual with all the hot Tourons was a touch above grumpy puppy but he was tipsy enough that it seemed like fair retribution. If he had been his normal self from a week ago he would have disagreed. Strongly. Cause Kiara had done literally nothing to deserve his petty ass flirting excessively right in front of her. But c’est la vie, I guess.

One of the cheerleaders - Maggie? Maddie? was leaning up against him and running her hand across his chest, cooing at something he had said. He had a drink in one hand and the other around the girl's waist. She was close enough he could smell the cheap hotel shampoo she had in her hair and in the back of his head, he noted that Kiara’s hair smelled so much better. A refreshing blend of honey and lemons even after surfing all day and -  _ What the hell, cut it out dude _ , he reprimanded himself. Why did he even know that? Sure he’s been flirting with her since she was accepted into their “Pogue Life”, but he knew how this worked and there was no way he’d entertain any sappy romantic ideas, even about her hair. She was Kie: their mama bird, social justice warrior, his best friend for whatever reason and there was no way he was risking her precious friendship with his fucked up life. As he tried to get his thoughts off of all that, Maya the Cheerleader (he still didn’t really know her name) had leaned almost flush against his chest and was unabashedly staring at his lips. 

  
  
  
  


“...and you always see that on social media but we all know what... Kiara? Helloo, you still here?” A hand was waving in front of her nose and she snapped her head back to Gale. 

“Sorry, sorry, yeah! Uhm, you were saying?” Gale started again and Kiara really did try to listen! It was just that, uhrg! JJ was right in her line of sight and was lounging as a Touron practically glued herself to his lips. It was disgusting and annoying, and distracting. She really was interested in what Gale had to say but the sight of his hand in her curls and the other loosely around her leg was burned into the back of her eyes. Like a train wreck that you couldn’t look away from. 

Gale sighed and turned around following Kiara’s glare. She scowled when she saw JJ and turned back to Kiara. “If it’s bothering you so much, just go talk to him! He’s like your best friend.” 

“I’ve tried but something always gets in the way. Besides, I don't think I’d get a word out of him when he’s sucking face.” She said disgustedly, freely glowering at him across the fire pit. “Imma get another drink.” Gale patted Kiara’s shoulder comfortingly as she sat up and turned to continue her conversation with another friend. 

Kiara made her way over to Pope who was still by the keg pump but this time just chatting with a friend as he had probably scared the girl away. She wordlessly handed him her cup, staring venomously at JJ, which interrupted Pope’s pleasant conversation about the coroner’s program at the University of South Florida. He gave her a weird look, before apologising to his buddy, ‘I have to take care of this hold on’, and fully turned to Kie. He stared at her while he filled her cup, following her gaze back and forth to JJ. Sighing, he held out the refilled beer in front of her face, blocking her view. When she finally turned to him he asked, “What’s up? Did he do something else stupid?” She just harrumphed.

“No, I mean, it's just…! Why does he have to be so stupid and gross with her?” Pope just stared at her with a small smile.

“So he’s snogging a random Touron, which is normal JJ behavior, and that's what has got you so huffy? When has that ever bothered you before?’’ There was a chuckle behind his words and she glared at him. But she knew he was right. She was straight up the jealous girl from the movies and she hated it. It was gross and ugly, and she _hated_ _it_! It wasn’t her, yet here she was, pissed off at some random girl when it had never ever bothered her before.

“He just won’t talk to me! He's been avoiding me since yesterday and ok yeah it's been  _ one day _ but I’m done with him hiding  _ everything _ ! I just wish he would talk - to me, talk to us. Instead of just telepathically communicating with John B and never actually working through his shit!” 

“Hey! What did / do?!” John B exclaimed incredulously. He was strolling over to the keg, cup in hand after what must have been another beer pong win. 

“You’re just an enabler.” Kiara sighed out in a laugh as she glared over Pope’s shoulder. John B just shared a look with Pope trying to figure out if there was actually a problem or if he had simply missed the joke. Pope merely nodded his head in JJ’s direction and an understanding smirk appeared on John B’s face.

“Ah I see…wait the problem is I'm enabling  _ that _ ? He does that like all the time! I don’t think I could stop him if I tried!” He laughed, throwing an arm around Kiara in a buzzed but friendly manner. She shoved him playfully but let him lean against her. 

“He’s just being bull headed and it's going to hurt him in the long run. I know he rarely opens up to you guys - though John B, you guys have that weird, creepy mind language or whatever - but it's really unhealthy, for all of you! No wonder y’all get into so much stupid shit! Y’all have the worst outlet for your problems I have ever seen!” She was laughing now as Pope shoved her while John B gave her a look of mock indignation. When the dust settled Pope had his elbow propped lightly on her shoulder as JB lounged on the keg, sipping leisurely from his Red Solo. 

“Oh what would we do without you Mama Kie?” Pope teased. “Well if anyone could get JJ to actually physically talk about his feelings, it’d be you. Do you really wanna do this right now though? Seems like a bit too many cheerleaders for him to give you any honesty not involving ‘his bed tonight’.” He rolled his eyes and John B barked out a laugh. She scowled but nodded.

“I know. Which is why I need to drag him off somewhere else but...yuck! They look attached at the lips!” She was right: when they looked back over, another bubbly cheerleader had pulled him towards the fire pit and pinned him against one of the dead tree limbs sticking up from the ground. She almost wondered if he was stuck and couldn’t actually get away. She was secretly hoping he was not having a good time pinned to a tree by some Barbie Doll leach.

“I have an idea then, if this is ruining your night so much.” John B sat up with a sigh. She looked at him quizzically waiting for him to give her the plan. Instead he grabbed her hand and tugged her down the beach. “Follow me.”

“Um what are we - ? John B, I’m not going for a swim right now!” 

“Yeah ok, ok sure, just - You stay here, got it? Take a walk, skip a rock, whatever - just stay put. I’ll get everything else!” He pushed her towards the water before jogging backwards slightly with a broad smile. Pope was standing behind him, looking slightly confused but still smirking.

“John B, what the…!” She sighed. Fine, she let him handle it. Besides, when John B had a plan, no matter how terribly thought out it really was, there was no stopping him. Man on a mission, that boy. 

  
  
  


John B gave Pope a knowing look as they weaved back through the crowd. Pope nervously nodded back to him. “Ok, uh, what is the plan... actually though?”

“Heh so, yeah, JJ is busy right now but you know for a fact that he’ll drop everything if he thinks something is happening to one of us, especially Kie. Soo…” John B wiggled his finger conspiratorially in front of Pope’s nose. He looked like he might be a bit tipsy. “All we have to do is get him worried enough to go looking for her. Easy peasy!” Pope laughed at that, John B was definitely tipsy if he was saying things like ‘easy peasy’ but he had a point. JJ would stop anything if it was for them, usually to the point of dangering his health. Luckily that was not likely to happen tonight...fingers crossed.

After a rushed and mildly alcohol filled planning sesh, JB pushed his brainy friend towards JJ. “Alright I can walk on my own, thank you very much. Go be visible so he can find you! And don’t have any more to drink or you’ll ruin your own plan!” Pope waved off his friend and wandered towards JJ who was now lounging by the fire pit with a girl wrapped around his side, a group of them telling ghost stories or whatnot. 

“Hey JJ, uh, have you seen Kie? I can’t find her. Haven’t seen her in a while!” Pope’s natural nervousness was apparent but played in favor of convincing his friend there was a problem. JJ gave him a startled yet concerned look as the conversation ebbed around him. He struggled out from the girl’s grip with an apologetic look which she did not return. Rather, she looked quite put off as he asked, “What do you mean? She ok? I thought she was just with…“ The girl flipped him off as she huffed to her friends, glaring daggers at him but JJ didn’t notice a thing. Instead he scrambled around Pope with his head bobbing above the crowd trying to look for Kiara’s bright red bandana. “Pope, did you see anyone with her before? Any kooks or…?” JJ was dragging him along, not giving him a chance to respond properly, leaving Pope to mumble a rambling, “No, well, yes. But I mean… well uh…” All of a sudden it felt like the bass was booming, the crowd becoming more rowdy and alcohol filled than an hour ago. It felt difficult to move through people without risking an elbow to the face. After an arm ended up near his gut Pope was worried that if JJ also got hit he wouldn’t be able to breath because of his ribs. But JJ was avoiding every stray limb expertly, even a stray drink that was sloshed in his direction. The chaos felt almost overwhelming in JJ’s ears but he tried to hold down his mild panic, keeping focus on one thing.

Finally JJ spotted John B who was swinging his legs from one of the higher branches of the boneyard. He yanked off his flip flop which made John B yelp in protest. JJ laughed at him but quickly asked, “Hey, you seen Kie? Me and Pope can’t find her. Just making sure cause I thought I saw this guy…” He paused with a scowl, looking out at the mass of teenagers around them. Earlier when Kie had been dancing, he could have sworn he saw some Kook watching her. It might have been nothing but you could never be too careful with Kooks. They’re too used to getting whatever they want, including girls, and JJ didn’t know what he would do if some guy hurt Kie just because JJ hadn’t been a good enough friend to go ask the guy to bug off. What good was he if he couldn’t at least protect his own friends?

John B gave him a worried look as he hopped down to the sand but pointed off further down the beach towards the shore. “Didn’t see her with anyone but I think she went down the beach, quieter out there I think. Looked like she was waiting to meet someone, maybe.” JJ paused at that looking concernedly at the shore line. If she was waiting for someone she probably wanted to meet up with them, it would be rude to interrupt… but if it was that guy, that could be bad…

Before he got completely stuck in his head, John B patted him on the shoulder in a way that moved him in the right direction. He gave JJ a look that said ‘go check’, but it was neither concerned nor suggestive. So he did. He found himself weaving back through the mob of people until it thinned out and he found himself at the water's edge.

  
  
  


She had told John B she wasn’t going for a swim. It was probably too cold. And probably too dark. But as she waited, the water pooling around her ankles was surprisingly warm, the clear moon glittering on the surf. And she did have her bathing suit on still, from earlier… After wading out up to her knees she finally turned back and took off her coverup and shorts, folding them neatly and setting them father up on the beach so they wouldn’t get wet or - fingers crossed - stolen. When she was just in her suit and had wrapped up her hair in a ponytail, leaving on her bandana, she ran back into the water, giggling to herself as she adjusted, the waves soft and warm. Little bubbles trailed in her wake barely visible yet sparkling under the moonlight. She let her fingers glide across the black ocean, before she laid back. Her agitation from the earlier hours melting to the back of her head as she floated gently on the waves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah ok I know I suck. But chapter seven is hot on my tail! I was hoping to end it after that but if I can get the proper inspiration, I might make a series out of it, who knows!
> 
> Also we broke 10,000 words! Like um!!! what! I didn’t even think I could write much less that much!! Thx for joining the journey y’all!


	7. I’ll Never Let You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ meets Kiara on the beach. 
> 
> (Yeah ok that summary sucks but that’s literally all that happens idk what to tell ya)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I’m truly sorry for how long this took and how crappy it turned out so I hope this is at least minorly satisfactory. An absolute whirlwind of stuff has been screwing with my mental health so I’ve been at ups and downs but I’m back and hopefully better. I present the final chapter of this meant-to-be-one-shot!

The waves ran up and grazed JJ’s feet as he wandered the coast, following John B’s direction. With the full moon shining bright it was easy to see into the night, watching the swell of the waves pull softly upon the sand. JJ tried to slow himself, stop the weird pit of worrying that had settled next to the beer in his gut. He was overreacting. Kie was probably fine, she could handle herself, he knew that. Gosh if he didn’t know it better than almost anyone else. He had once seen her deck a guy that was getting too pushy. Hell, he had taught her that exact punch. She had almost hit the dude again when he got up to fight back before the boys had gotten there, never far from a fight or a friend. 

As he walked he spotted a lump of something laying on the beach. When he got closer he realised it was Kie’s clothes which startled him for a second before he processed that they were neatly folded, obviously there on purpose. If she had laid out her clothes she had to be near and hopefully with something else on. Looking out on the water he glimpsed a dark mass with tanned skin and a sly smile. He sighed out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding as he came a couple steps further into the water. 

“Gosh Kie, what are you doing?” He laughed as she ducked her head under, hiding from him before popping back up a few feet in front of him. 

“Was wondering when you’d come over.” She smirked at him, before spreading her arms in the water and pushing back. “Come on it, it's actually warm-ish!” 

“Sure you didn’t just pee?” He jabbed sarcastically, but he was already in knee deep, the water dampening his shorts with every small wave. It truly was warmer than he had expected.

She rolled her eyes at his response. Well that's what she had intended to do. But it was kinda hard to roll her eyes when she couldn’t take her them off of him. He was… well he was gorgeous. Simply that. The moon made his hair glow a soft white so that he looked like an immortal, the light refracting off the sea making his eyes glitter a cadet blue. There was a sharp definition to everything about him as he threw his head back in a laugh. This JJ was happy, untroubled. He was just a teenage boy living life to the fullest without a care in the world about horrific problems that he actually had to worry about every day. She had never been in a moment so bittersweet. The look on his face was a simple contentment that simultaneously made her want to laugh in pure joy and sob in heartbroken sadness. If she could keep that fraction of an instant in a jar for his rainy days she would. Because in reality that's all it was: seconds, moments, before he was breathing out a frown. At that she physically sat up, drawing nearer to him as he stood in the waves.

“I was worried there for a second. Thought that Kook was following you or something.” He was watching the water calmly, running his fingers along the waves like she had done earlier.

“What Kook?”

“Just some guy. He was checking you out. When you were dancing.” He was scowling now, the idea obviously concerning, but she couldn’t help her little heart skip. He had been watching her...When had  _ he _ been watching  _ her _ ? All this time while she had been jealously stalking him, he had been keeping an eye out for her, making sure some creep Kook didn’t make a move. 

Before she could even properly react he moved on. “I assumed you were either with him or had just left, so…” He laughed like it was a joke but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I'm glad you didn’t leave.” Kiara recognized it. JJ was an expert at this deflect and distract technique. He would hurry around serious subjects, laugh over top concerning comments, lying easily through his teeth, never staying in one place too long so as to hide and protect himself from further harm. It was her constant battle with him. She never pushed him to say anything so instead she had to observe him quietly, learning his face and moods and ticks, trying to help him in little ways without him knowing, so as not to scare him off. 

“I would never leave you, JJ.” Her response was made in the same manner as his: hiding the seriousness and rawness with a bubbly laugh. His eyes fluttered up to hers and he looked at her slightly in awe. She was now standing beside him watching the night sky, the water lapping at the tops of their knees.

“You wouldn’t be the first.”

It was said so plainly, not hiding anything. So much so that it sounded casual, like he was just that  _ used to _ the abandonment, unfazed. She stared at him hard as he shrugged it off. Her thoughts buzzed through her brain, pieces that were already in place clicking together, as if she had always known. Looking at him, she heard his inner monologue louder and clearer than her own; every self doubting, self deprecating, scared, angry, confused, and hateful voice that screamed at him everyday of his life without reprieve from with inside his head. The incomprehensible falseness of it all that he faithfully believed, stoked in her that famous Kiara determination.

Careful to avoid his injuries, she punched him. Square in the shoulder, not that it was really hard enough to hurt. There was no heat or abuse behind it. It was merely meant as a reality check. 

“Hey, ouch! What the hell was that for!” He stared at her dumbly, playing up his pain like he normally would when being a drama queen.

“ _ That _ was because I know you. And because, for once, I want you to snap the hell out of it! Geez, you are the strongest, most loving, loyal,  _ dumbass _ I have ever met.” As she took a pause, taking a breath to collect her thoughts JJ tried to maneuver away from the conversation.

Smirking, he joked, “So you think I’m strong - ”

Kiara huffed exasperatedly but couldn’t stop her smile. “Shut up, JJ! I’m serious! For once in your life just don’t hide from me, don’t run away. I know you too well and I’m not gonna let it happen. You’re stuck with me JJ Maybank and I’m not going anywhere. You... you deserve so much more than this place, than him - ” she rested her hand on the bruise across his cheek, “ - and dammit if I’ll do anything to prove that to you. To just to give that to you. JJ, I - ” Her words had become quiet but jumbled and frantic. There was too much to say, too much he needed to understand, too much emotion and it bubbled up into her eyes. She wiped at them angrily, mad at her lack of composure. She was usually so good at expressing her thoughts clearly, it was frustrating.

“… JJ I love you… And if you don’t feel the same than that's fine but at least let me… let me at least be a, a good friend and help you, be there for you, I can’t just - ” She had turned away from him so that she could concentrate on getting this right, but he gently grabbed her chin and turned her to look at him. She stopped, instantly overcome by bright blue eyes. They held so much confusion and pain but what shocked her was the raw love that shone under the moonlight. They stayed like that a moment, both speechless yet locked in a silent conversation of eyes and empathy.

“Do you… do you really mean that…” He whispered it so quietly she would have missed it if she wasn’t inches from his face. His thumb was resting on her chin, almost brushing her bottom lip.

“Every word.” Her voice was breathy and emotional. His choked laugh came out the same.

“... You think I don't feel the same?... Fuck, Kie if this is a joke…” His voice broke, almost in a sob as a tear threatened to fall, but he never broke eye contact. He kept expecting her to laugh and push him into the water, running away like kids on a playground. There was no way that this-

“It isn’t.” She breathed against his lips. Suddenly, inches turned to centimeters and then her soft lips were on his. There was no hesitation between them. It was soft yet needy, a rollercoaster of emotions. They kissed like they had all the time in the world and yet none at all. Every sensation revealing another unsaid word. 

With soft waves all around them and the moon as their spotlight, Kiara ran her hands through his hair, holding him close as JJ pulled her impossibly nearer by the waist. He slid his tongue slyly along her bottom lip gaining his ever consistent confidence back. As it turned into a nibble, Kie almost giggled. Instead she tugged right back, teasing his tongue until the kiss went deeper, rougher, more passionate. 

His hands never sat still: one climbed up to the back of her neck, pulling her impossibly closer to his lips before it ran back along her spine, lighting shivers under his fingertips. The other hand had wound around her waist almost holding her entirely, fingers dancing distractedly across her exposed lower back and the hem of her bikini bottoms. Every touch of his was desperate and cautious and confident. Like she would vanish into thin air at any second. But maybe, just maybe, she was really staying for good. He was gonna savor every bit of her while he could, just in case. 

Kiara felt like the world was spinning and the only thing that mattered, the only thing that grounded her was JJ. She held him back tightly, tugging subconsciously on his golden locks, fingers seemingly lost. As they broke apart he gasped and dropped his head onto her forehead. She combed gently through his soft hair and he leaned back into her touch. Their eyes met then and nothing in that moment could have made her happier. They were breathless and smiling like goofballs and giggling like teenage idiots but she couldn’t have cared. The utter brokenness that had dulled and smothered JJ’s eyes had finally dissipated. He looked alive and real and… happy. Pure fucking _happiness_. 

Fuck ‘no pogue-on-pogue macking’: she would light the world on fire to keep that happiness there in his baby blues forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say thank you! thank you! thank you!! to all y’all who supported me on this story, it was so crazy and means so much! I hope it was as exciting to read as it was to write. Continue to comment and support the works that you read because I can truly say it means the world to the authors, no matter how much experience they have!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all enjoyed! I know it’s a relatively new fandom so I hope this is a good start to a larger fandom in the future! 
> 
> Leave a Kudos and call me out on my crap if I have grammar issues or otherwise! Also please let me know if they way this is portrayed is offensive or inaccurate, abuse is serious and I keep praying for kids right now stuck in potentially unsafe environments because of quarantine! Stay safe! Love y’all!


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